A gift from the editor

Ok, so technically speaking I don't have an editor.  My constant companion (and wife), however, has pointed out that I didn't cover all of the promised topics/catchphrases in my discussion of China.

Here, then, is a breakdown of the promised list:

1. Noodle Bucket - sustenance on the train from Beijing to Lhasa.  Despite an initial rush of enthusiasm it's unlikely I'll eat another one of these any time soon.
   
2. White Lightning - Chinese rotgut, available in supermarkets for 40 cents a bottle - which is just too much.
   
3. Split Pants - Chinese pajamas for kids, with a split in the nether region(s) so kids can go to the bathroom wherever they are - and I do mean wherever.
   
4. NO THANK YOU - Phrase screamed back at Melissa by an overenthusiastic street vendor.
   
5. Bazooka disease - Affliction where you're discharging from both ends.  Afflicted at least 3 other members of the group during our trip (but Jen and I avoided it, for now).
   
6. Hallomoney - One of two english phrases mastered by begging Chinese children.
   
7. Me so hungry - The other english phrase mastered by begging Chinese children.
   
8. Children of the corn - Encounter in a town where there were no adults, the main path was barracaded, and we almost lost Stefan when he tried to get out to move a rock.
   
9. The party loft - The top bunk of the "other" compartment on the train, home of Noodle Bucket and White Lightning.  Our compartment might also be described as the party loft - but only for the Chinese folks that cooked breakfast there on the first morning.
   
10. The "fake" lama, and V for Vendetta - As part of the ongoing occupation of Tibet, China has taken it upon itself to start appointing Tibetan religous leaders, including the 11th Panchen Lama.  At one of the monasteries Melissa asked quite loudly "Isn't that the fake lama?"  And we all scattered in case she was abducted.  Later I asked if she'd seen "V for Vendetta," referencing the scenes where the secret police abduct dissenters, leading them away with bags over their heads.
    
11. Taxi problems from the Summer Palace - You know that we failed to make it the first time, and that we were too tired to see the whole thing the second time.  What you don't know is that it took forever to find a taxi back from the Summer Palace to the subway station.  First we couldn't get a taxi to stop (although they were passing), then we couldn't find any taxis, and finally we got misled by a bystander.  He told us that we were in a good place to catch taxis, but they kept passing us.  Turns out we needed to head about 100 yards down the road where there was a good place to pull over.  This took well over 30 minutes, and caused Jen to get quite stressed.
    
12. Mil "bringing up the rear" - Per the 'more active" comment, Mil's a fast walker.  When we got off of the train in Lhasa she said that she'd bring up the rear of the group.  One small problem, though, most of us walk slower than Mil.  By the time we'd gone about two blocks she was in the middle of the group.
    
13. Sausage racing - The Brewers annual 5k for charity.  I inted to run in this in 2009.