You can go your own way (Luxor) - 15 April 2009

One of the optional activities on the trip is a hot-air balloon ride, which is hyped as the definitive experience of the trip. It's supposed to happen this morning, but it's expensive and Jen and I are both tired, so we elect to sleep in and skip it. Instead of getting up at some insane hour, like 4 am, we'll rest and meet up with the group for a donkey ride to the Valley of the Kings.

Karma is kinder to us than our companions, though. When we show up for the donkey ride it turns out that it was too windy, so they didn't get to go.

If you're a long-time reader of the blog you may be asking, "Why on earth would he even try to ride a donkey? He hates animal rides." And you'd be right, I do hate animal rides, and this one ended up being a doozy.

It started off well enough. I got on the beast without issue and, like the guides told us, he seemed to know the way to go. The constantly jostling was unpleasant, but endurable. Then, for no apparent reason the donkey decided he wanted to veer left, out into the road. He persisted in doing this for what felt like 3 hours, although it was probably only 45 minutes. I'm not ashamed to say that I took to handling the reins in a way that can only be described as animal cruelty - and even that wasn't enough. At one point one of the guides rode up to marshal my donkey back over to the right side of the road and asked me why I kept veering to the left. I was not happy.

Here we are after the ride, with our donkeys:

Figure 1: Real Smile

Figure 2: Fake Smile

After the ride people were petting their donkeys and asking the guides what the donkeys' names were. Someone asked me what mine was named and I said "I don't know but I call him ..." Well, since my Dad gave the URL of this blog to his Sunday School class this morning maybe I won't repeat what I called the donkey.

The Valley of the Kings is spectacular and even has my favorite feature - a model of the site in an air conditioned visitor's center:

With your ticket you are permitted to enter up to three tombs, excluding Tutankhamun's tomb. Tutankhamun's tomb costs an extra 100 Egyptian Pounds, or about $20 US, so we skipped it. As with so many attractions in Egypt you're not permitted to take pictures inside the tombs unless you bribe the guards. In this case, though, you'll also have to bribe the folks that check your camera when you leave. It seems they're actually serious about it here.

We visited the tombs of Thutmose III, Thutmose IV, and Ramesses IV. I guess we were just Thutmose'd out by the time we got to the last one. Our guide recommended Thutmose III, because the decoration is very simple, consisting of what I described in the journal as "stick figures."

We chose the tomb of Thutmose IV because it was off the beaten track and we figured it wouldn't be crowded. Not only was it not crowded, but we were the only people in it. Except for the "guard" who proceeded to tell us about the tomb and then demand a tip. *Sigh*

Ramesses IV's tomb was spectacular - intricately decorated with its vibrant colors still intact. There's one picture available on wikipedia.

After the Valley of the Kings we went on to Hatshepsut's Tomb. Hatshepsut is fascinating - a woman who became pharaoh of Egypt and ruled for almost 22 years. Here's the exterior of her tomb:

After the temple we were taken to an Alabaster shop. Since we're not trying to acquire more stuff to carry around, Jen and I stayed in the "car":

For our free/lunch time, we visited the Luxor McDonald's. Free Wi-Fi and blessed, blessed air conditioning. They had the A/C cranked so high that we were actually freezing after awhile. You can get the standard Quarter Pounder, but I figured why not live it up a little:

It was surprisingly good.

The day ended with the return train trip to Cairo. This time Jen didn't even touch the food.

And a factory in Chicago that makes miniature models of factories (Luxor) - 14 April 2008

We slept on our felucca last night, covered in the cheap blankets we bought while visiting the Deutsches in Cairo. I had hoped to sleep in this morning, but the crew was up at 5 am and breakfast was served around 6.

We take a motorboat to Daroud (?) and then a bus to Luxor. We're given the option of some side excursion (I don't even remember what it was at this point) but I vote for going straight to Luxor and the creature comforts of a hotel. Thankfully most people are ok going on to Luxor.

There's a moment of panic when we get to Luxor - none of the ATMs will take my card. Finally on the 4th try we're able to get some cash.

Continuing the theme of being whiny Americans, Jen and I elect to go to Pizza Hut for lunch. Now I love me some Pizza Hut, but I have to say that the Meat Lover's was a disappointment. How can you call it a Meat Lover's without the pig-based meats?

After lunch we took a carriage ride to the Karnak Temple Complex. Here's Jan and Colleen, two of the other folks on our trip:

My favorite part of Karnak was the air-conditioned visitor's center, complete with a scale model of the entire complex:

It's not that the real thing isn't spectacular, it's that (in the abridged words of Sam Kinison) "It's in the desert!"

Something I had never thought about was that the ancient Egyptians actually used paint - so the stuff we see today is not what it looked like when it was new. In some places you can still see remnants:

After the official guided tour we were given 50 minutes to wander around on our own. As part of this I circled the Scarab below 7 times, because you're supposed to get a wish if you do:

Of the 50 minutes we used 30 - and there was only one person that used more of the time. Like I said - IT'S HOT!

For dinner Jen and I bailed on the group and went to an Indian restaurant. It was expensive, but well worth it.

They keep showin' my hands but not my face on TV - 13 April 2009

If you've read the last two blog entries you can probably guess what's coming.

It's our last day in Aswan, and we're supposed to get on a felucca for a cruise, but first it's time to go round and round with the hotel again about hot water.

This time, in spite of 2 hours of talking to them and enlisting the help of our trusty guide, they just can't get it to work. So they offer to let us use another room - which sounds great, until Jen goes to the room to discover that someone just checked out of it. She chooses not to shower, and I take a quick cold shower.

We get on the felucca around 11 and spend a little time getting to know the other folks in our tour group. Then, lulled by the river we all nap - or at least I nap until I wake myself up with the snoring.

In addition to our feluccas there's a larger boat used for meals and the restroom. During dinner I get to proselytize about the Amazon Kindle. It's a great device, but most of these folks are Canadian, and I'm not sure they can (legally) buy one.

After dinner we sit around the table and have song time. When it gets to be my turn all I can think of is the "Dukes of Hazzard" theme song for some reason. I'm sure that left a great impression of America.

You're sure this is the best restaurant in town? - 12 April 2009

Today was the visit to Abu Simbel, which I've spelled at least 3 different ways in my journal. Checking the old morale-o-meter, we find this comment: "6 hours on a bus for about 2 hours at the monument."

We got up at 3 am this morning to get ready, only to find that there was no hot water. Thankfully, though, it came on. Then the long bus ride as part of the convoy previously mentioned, to see this:

For some reason I convinced myself that this was the basis for Shelley's Ozymandias but Wikipedia says it ain't so. As with the Egyptian Museum in Cairo, you're not allowed to take pictures inside unless you bribe the guards, so no pictures.

There are two factoids about Abu Simpel that are particularly interesting:

First, the statues you see are of the pharaoh Ramesses, who was trying to deify himself as part of a power play with the high priest.

Second, the entire thing was moved so it wouldn't be flooded by the Aswan High Dam. There's an entire exhibit dedicated to all of the work it took to move the monuments piece by piece, including a discussion of what was considered an acceptable loss due to blade-width when cutting the statues up.

In addition to the temple dedicated to Ramesses in the picture above there's also a lesser temple dedicated to the goddess Hathor and Ramesses' queen, Nefertari.

In addition to letting you take pictures inside for a bribe, the guards will also let you hold the gold, ankh-shaped key for nominal consideration. Again, we declined.

After a long bus-ride back it was time for dinner. I don't mean to be judgmental, but I think I'd skip the first thing on the menu:

She's been through the desert on a camel with a stoner's name - 11 April 2009

I slept really well on the train, which was a surprise. Truthfully I've slept better during this year than I can ever remember sleeping - probably something to do with actually moving instead of typing all day.

Breakfast proved to be yet another disappointment, consisting of a selection of prepackaged breads, and the soap they gave us on the train was labeled "Good Luck." This causes a vague sense of unease.

Oh, and in case there was any doubt, we're no longer in happy-go-lucky traveler land. We thought that we'd be able to check into the hotel early and clean up, but it turns out that we can't check-in until noon. We have the option to go on a tour of Aswan for $35 US, but elect to sit (scowling) in the lobby of the hotel until we're allowed to check in. For the record, my journal does say "I need an attitude adjustment."

Once we get checked in and cleaned up, it's time to take a boat tour around Aswan.


Not to get all nerdy on you - but think of what people will find from our increasingly electronic civilization a few thousand years from now. Will they wonder if we even had written language?

After the boat tour, it was time for a camel ride. Now, in the interest of full disclosure I have to add that I don't like riding camels, or horses, or donkeys (the last of which will feature prominently when we visit the valley of the kings). My dislike of camels dates back to 2003, when I made the mistake of wearing boxer shorts for a camel ride on a camel named Simpson, after the Australian desert. I didn't repeat that mistake, but I'm still not a fan of being jostled around like a sack of potatoes in the name of having "fun". (Oh, and HEY YOU KIDS - GET OUTTA MY YARD!)

In case you were wondering, stoner culture is alive and well all around the world. Here's Jen's camel:

Yep, that's Bob Marley.

After the camel ride we visited a Nubian village, where we got to hold a crocodile:

Yeah, I know its mouth is banded shut, but it was still exciting.

Then we had a real Nubian dinner, and it was delicious. It's amazing the difference food can make in a journey. It doesn't have to be familiar, just enjoyable.

After a packed day, we returned to the hotel where our tour guide, Momdouh, made a heart out of a palm frond for Easter:


But the day didn't end on a high note, unfortunately. We're supposed to get up really early tomorrow to join up with a convoy to go visit Abu Simpel. Now I'm not talking about a cool mid-70's convoy - the kind you'd use as an excuse for a crappy movie. No, I'm talking about the kind of convoy that tourists join for their protection, with armed police at each end.

Since we want to look good in case we end up on CNN, we'd like to clean up the night before. Only there's no hot water. It takes 3 calls to get someone to the room, at which point I'm told that they have to replace the hot water tank, and that it will be 11:30 before there's hot water. Jen's already passed out from exhaustion at this point, but I stay up until 11:30 - only to find that not only is there not hot water, there's no water at all.

Good times...